He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling
the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, ‘I don’t get it! You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?’

He replied, ‘Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or…you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim
or…I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or…I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

‘Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,’ I protested.

‘Yes, it is,’ he said. ‘Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people
affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom
line: It’s your choice how you live your life.’

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life
instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, ‘If I were any better, I’d be twins…Wanna see my scars?’ I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

‘The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,’ he replied. ‘Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two
choices: I could choose to live or…I could choose to die. I chose to live.’

‘Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?’ I asked.

He continued, ‘…the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In
their eyes, I read ‘he’s a dead man’. I knew I needed to take action ..’
‘What did you do?’ I asked.

‘Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me ,’ said John. ‘She asked if I was allergic to anything ‘Yes, I replied.’ The doctors and nurses stopped working as they
waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, ‘Gravity”

Over their laughter, I told them, ‘I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.’ He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude…I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.’ Matthew 6:34.

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

This is probably the most potentially helpful post I have made to mASF, yet most people probably will not recognize its usefulness – a lot of the ‘gurus’ I have met do not get this.

Put simply, this post is about growth, development, ability and self-image. Your understanding of how these interrelate will impact your success in life as well as in seduction, but perhaps even more importantly the level of success and happiness you experience internally. If you are not getting good results in seduction, or you are getting good results, but somehow you still tend to feel down, depressed or unsatisfied fairly frequently, it may be that this post can help you. I’m going to deal with these two scenarios in turn.

First, if you are not getting good results in seduction, it may be that you are not ‘broad’ enough. By that I mean that of the 1000s of different meaningful experiences it is possible for someone to have, you have only experienced a narrow range of them. If you were a bit of a loner in school and spent most of your adolescence playing computer games, it may be that you fall into this category. Have you ever – been in a play and performed to 100 people? Been part of a committed team playing a sport? Tried to start a business? Tried to accomplish something and had to face more than 20 people saying no to you before finding someone that said yes and then accomplishing it? Made more than 50 sales at a profit? Sung in a band in front of a crowd of more than 100 people? Been in a physical fight and won it? Trained hard enough to run a sub-50 minute 10k (6 miles)? Moved to a new area where you knew no-one and built a circle of friends? Ridden a motorbike? Dreamed a dream and made it your reality? These are just random examples of the kinds of things that make a broad person. Someone who has lived life and who has lived it enough that he knows that he can deal with pretty much anything life can throw at him.

Becoming more experienced at life, its challenges and the rich experiences it has to offer gives you many things, but one thing it gives you above all is confidence. Confidence means the safe, happy feeling that you can cope with something. You can be confident when you play Doom, but be unconfident when you have to talk to a crowd. The more situations you master and become competent in, the broader and deeper your confidence becomes. It is no accident that women go for a confident guy. His confidence shows that he has the genetic makeup and the life skills to handle adversity – exactly what she would want any of her children to have. But confidence is more important than that – it means you can go through all of life with the same safe happy feeling you get when you play doom. How do you get this feeling of confidence? By doing things that you are not confident at now. By doing things you are afraid of. By doing things you don’t know anything about. By actively seeking out new experiences and consciously choosing to cover the broad spectrum of human experience with your choices. It’s called adventure.

The second category of people are those who are getting good results at seduction, yet still tend to feel down or depressed or who feel like there’s still something missing or who aren’t getting the satisfaction from their success they thought they would. These are almost all people who came from the first category – they weren’t getting good results in seduction, partly through lack of confidence due to narrow experience, and then they discovered mASF and learned how to be successful with women.

I think there’s two reasons for the continued absence of satisfaction or happiness despite the good seduction results.

First, if someone has worked on their seduction skills and become confident approaching and seducing women, that is great. They have grown in life experience and have reaped the reward of increased confidence and success with women. However, the overwhelming majority of ASF techniques work because they communicate confidence – not just confidence with women, but confidence with life as a whole – because women want a guy who is confident and experienced across the board, not just in dealing with women. Now on some level, we all know that, and to the extent that we are only confident with women and not in other life situations, we are a fraud, and we know that. It’s hard to be happy, confident, relaxed and satisfied when you know that the results you are getting are based on fraudulent representation of your true value. If you find you can get a woman into bed, but then even if you like her, she seems to drift away, it’s probably because you fooled her long enough that you were high value, but then she realized that you weren’t. You sold her on something you don’t really have. If you are doing this, then on some level you know you are doing it, and this will make you unhappy. If your relationships with girls don’t seem to work out, your friendships with guys don’t seem to work out, and you don’t feel like you’re enjoying life that much, your problem isn’t that you need more seduction skills – you don’t need to be able to better persuade girls that you have something you don’t. What you need is to go out and grab the experiences that will make you a more confident, rounded person.

Second, I think there is a pitfall in self-development that several people fall into. If you’re going to get good at seduction, in fact if you’re going to get good at anything in life, you need to understand, even if only intuitively, the principles of self-development. This explains why Anthony Robbins is so popular among ASF people, especially those who are successful. One great tenet of self-development is that it’s important to overcome boundaries – to dream outside your comfort zone, to believe that you can be more than you are right now, so that you take the actions necessary to grow yourself. Such a process is crucial if you are going to ‘broaden’ yourself and throw yourself into situations where you do not yet feel confident. However, there is a belief that lots of people espouse that I think is hurting not helping.

There is a common belief, born of the Robbins movement, that can be summarized in this way: ‘we are all infinitely malleable.’ Certainly, it’s easy to see why this is more conducive to self-development than its polar opposite ‘We are all completely fixed as we are now.’ To the extent that it frees up people to dream of possibilities, to explore their potential, to try new things, it is great. However, it can also have a pernicious effect. Its implication is that if we don’t like something about ourselves, we can just change it. It may take hard work, but we can do it – after all, ‘We are all infinitely malleable’.

The problem is that this just isn’t true. For example, let’s say you’re fascinated by computers and science fiction. If you tell girls about it, is it likely to further your chances of getting laid? No. Fine – just ‘unprogram’ yourself from liking that and learn to like hip-hop instead. Now I’m cooler and I’m more likely to get laid. Great! Except that there’s still someone on the inside of you who loves computers and science fiction and thinks hip hop sucks. That person didn’t go away, he’s still in there feeling miserable because he’s not getting to do the things he loves and he feels like he has to hide away. Meantime the external hip-hop loving cool dude is getting laid with a fury. But somehow he feels like it’s someone else getting laid not him. He can’t quite feel the satisfaction of it – he’s not quite getting the juice from it, even though he appreciates the adulation and respect he’s getting from his peers about how he’s totally a babe-magnet.

So what’s the answer? Go back to the computers and science fiction and stop getting laid? Continue to be the miserable hip-hop loving cool dude? No. There is a better way. If you can embrace everything you are and find ways to be successful that fit your definition of success (including getting laid) but which also allow you to fully express who you really are, then you will be happy and validated on the inside, and your increased confidence and centeredness will bring you the success you want with women. No longer as a fraud trying to project confidence, but a fully rounded, expressed, successful person gaining the success with women that is the rightful reward of someone with that amount of value. I think one of the first steps needs to be to let go of the belief that ‘We are all infinitely malleable’ and replace it with beliefs that better fit the territory, such as ‘You never know your potential until you throw yourself at something whole-heartedly’ but also ‘There are certain parts of me that are just who I am – I embrace myself and find ways to incorporate those parts into a joyful whole’.

To take our science fiction lover, there’s plenty of ways he could pursue his passion and still be attractive to women. There’s plenty of best-selling science fiction authors and writers of TV series who have coolness, fame and social proof and who are doing what they love. And even if you’re just pursuing the dream, women are more much likely to be attracted to a guy who is chasing his dream than someone who is borrowing a dream to try to be attractive – girls have a great nose for a fake. And maybe you won’t find much in common with that cool hip-hop chick – but then, as well as her maybe screening you out, you’re almost certaintly going to want to screen her out because you’re going to find her boring. You’re much more likely to have a connection with a hot but geeky chick at a science fiction convention – but you’ll only end up at the right places to meet girls right for you once you get to know and accept who you really are.

In summary, seduction skills are great, but they should be tools you use to promote an awesome, authentic you – not a shield that you can hide your true self behind.

7. Level up your skills. If you have played video games before especially RPGs, you’ll know the concept of leveling up – gaining experience so you can be better and stronger. As a blogger, I’m constantly leveling up my writing skills. As a speaker, I’m constantly leveling up my public engagement abilities. What skills can you level up?
8. Wake up early. Waking up early (say, 5-6am) has been acknowledged by many (Anthony Robbins, Robin Sharma, among other self-help gurus) to improve your productivity and your quality of life. I feel it’s because when you wake up early, your mindset is already set to continue the momentum and proactively live out the day. Seth recently wrote a waking up early series which you should check out to help cultivate this habit.
9. Have a weekly exercise routine. A better you starts with being in better physical shape. I personally make it a point to jog at least 3 times a week, at least 30 minutes each time. You may want to mix it up with jogging, gym lessons and swimming for variation.
10. Start your life handbook. A life handbook is an idea I started 3 years ago. Basically, it’s a book which contains the essentials on how you can live your life to the fullest, such as your purpose, your values and goals. Sort of like your manual for your life. I started my life handbook since 2007 and it’s been a crucial enabler in my progress.
11. Write a letter to your future self. What do you see yourself as 5 years from now? Will you be the same? Different? What kind of person will you be? Write a letter to your future self – 1 year from now will be a good start – and seal it. Make a date in your calendar to open it 1 year from now. Then start working to become the person you want to open that letter.
12. Get out of your comfort zone. Real growth comes with hard work and sweat. Being too comfortable doesn’t help us grow – it makes us stagnate. What is your comfort zone? Do you stay in most of the time? Do you keep to your own space when out with other people? Shake your routine up. Do something different. By exposing yourself to a new context, you’re literally growing as you learn to act in new circumstances.
13. Put someone up to a challenge. Competition is one of the best ways to grow. Set a challenge (weight loss, exercise, financial challenge, etc) and compete with an interested friend to see who achieves the target first. Through the process, both of you will gain more than if you were to set off on the target alone.
14. Identify your blind spots. Scientifically, blind spots refer to areas our eyes are not capable of seeing. In personal development terms, blind spots are things about ourselves we are unaware of. Discovering our blind spots help us discover our areas of improvement. One exercise I use to discover my blind spots is to identify all the things/events/people that trigger me in a day – trigger meaning making me feel annoyed/weird/affected. These represent my blind spots. It’s always fun to do the exercise because I discover new things about myself, even if I may already think I know my own blind spots (but then they wouldn’t be blind spots would they?). After that, I work on steps to address them.
15. Ask for feedback. As much as we try to improve, we will always have blind spots. Asking for feedback gives us an additional perspective. Some people to approach will be friends, family, colleagues, boss, or even acquaintances, since they will have no preset bias and can give their feedback objectively.
16. Stay focused with to-do lists. I start my day with a list of tasks I want to complete and this helps make me stay focused. In comparison, the days when I don’t do this end up being extremely unproductive. For example, part of my to-do list for today is to write a guest post at LifeHack.Org, and this is why I’m writing this now! Since my work requires me to use my computer all the time, I use Free Sticky Notes to manage my to-do lists. It’s really simple to use and it’s a freeware, so I recommend you check it out.
17. Set Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAGs). I’m a big fan of setting BHAGs. BHAGs stretch you beyond your normal capacity since they are big and audacious – you wouldn’t think of attempting them normally. What are BHAGs you can embark on, which you’ll feel absolutely on top of the world once you complete them? Set them and start working on them.
18. Acknowledge your flaws. Everyone has flaws. What’s most important is to understand them, acknowledge them, and address them. What do you think are your flaws? What are the flaws you can work on now? How do you want to address them?
19. Get into action. The best way to learn and improve is to take action. What is something you have been meaning to do? How can you take action on it immediately? Waiting doesn’t get anything done. Taking action gives you immediate results to learn from.
20. Learn from people who inspire you. Think about people you admire. People who inspire you. These people reflect certain qualities you want to have for yourself too. What are the qualities in them you want to have for yourself? How can you acquire these qualities?
21. Quit a bad habit. Are there any bad habits you can lose? Oversleeping? Not exercising? Being late? Slouching? Nail biting? Smoking? Here’s some help on how you can quit a bad habit.
22. Cultivate a new habit. Some good new habits to cultivate include reading books (#1), waking up early (#8), exercising (#9), reading a new personal development article a day (#40) and meditating. Is there any other new habit you can cultivate to improve yourself?
23. Avoid negative people. As Jim Rohn says, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”. Wherever we go, there are bound to be negative people. Don’t spend too much of your time around them if you feel they drag you down.
24. Learn to deal with difficult people. There are times when there are difficult people you can’t avoid, such as at your workplace, or when the person is part of your inner circle of contacts. Learn how to deal with them. These people management skills will go a long way in working with people in the future.
25. Learn from your friends. Everyone has amazing qualities in them. It’s up to how we want to tap into them. With all the friends who surround you, they are going to have things you can learn from. Try thinking of a good friend right now. Think about just one quality they have which you want to adopt. How can you learn from them and adopt this skill for yourself? Speak to them if you need to – for sure, they will be more than happy to help!
26. Start a journal. Journaling is a great way to gain better self-awareness. It’s a self-reflection process. As you write, clarify your thought process and read what you wrote from a third person’s perspective, you gain more insights about yourself. Your journal can be private or an online blog. I use my personal development blog as a personal journal too and I’ve learned a lot about myself through the past year of blogging.
27. Start a blog about personal development. To help others grow, you need to first be walking the talk. There are expectations of you, both from yourself and from others, which you have to uphold. I run The Personal Excellence Blog, where I share my personal journey and insights on how to live a better life. Readers look toward my articles to improve themselves, which enforces to me that I need to keep improving, for myself and for the people I’m reaching out to.
28. Get a mentor or coach. There’s no faster way to improve than to have someone work with you on your goals. Many of my clients approach me to coach them in their goals and they achieve significantly more results than if they had worked alone.
29. Reduce the time you spend on chat programs. I realized having chat programs open at default result in a lot of wasted time. This time can be much better spent on other activities. The days when I don’t get on chat, I get a lot more done. I usually disable the auto start-up option in the chat programs and launch them when I do want to chat and really have the time for it.
30. Learn chess (or any strategy game). I found chess is a terrific game to learn strategy and hone your brainpower. Not only do you have fun, you also get to exercise your analytical skills. You can also learn strategy from other board games or computer games, such as Othello, Chinese Chess, WarCraft, and so on.
31. Stop watching TV. I’ve not been watching TV for pretty much 4 years and it’s been a very liberating experience. I realized most of the programs and advertisements on mainstream TV are usually of a lower consciousness and not very empowering. In return, the time I’ve freed up from not watching TV is now constructively used for other purposes, such as connecting with close friends, doing work I enjoy, exercising, etc.
32. Start a 30-day challenge. Set a goal and give yourself 30 days to achieve this. Your goal can be to stick with a new habit or something you’ve always wanted to do but have not. 30 days is just enough time to strategize, plan, get into action, review and nail the goal.
33. Meditate. Meditation helps to calm you and be more conscious. I also realized that during the nights when I meditate (before I sleep), I need lesser sleep. The clutter clearing process is very liberating.
34. Join Toastmasters (Learn public speaking). Interestingly, public speaking is the #1 fear in the world, with #2 being death. After I started public speaking as a personal development speaker/trainer, I’ve learned a lot about how to communicate better, present myself and engage people. Toastmasters is an international organization that trains people in public speaking. Check out the Toastmaster clubs nearest to you here.

35. Befriend top people in their fields. These people have achieved their results because they have the right attitudes, skill sets and know-how. How better to learn than from the people who have been there and done that? Gain new insights from them on how you can improve and achieve the same results for yourself.
36. Let go of the past. Is there any grievance or unhappiness from the past which you have been holding on? If so, it’s time to let it go. Holding on to them prevents you from moving on and becoming a better person. Break away from the past, forgive yourself, and move on. Just recently, I finally moved on from a past heartbreak of 5 years ago. The effect was liberating and very empowering, and I have never been happier.
37. Start a business venture. Is there anything you have an interest in? Why not turn it into a venture and make money while learning at the same time? Starting a new venture requires you to be learn business management skills, develop business acumen and have a competitive edge. The process of starting and developing my personal development business has equipped me with many skills, such as self-discipline, leadership, organization and management.
38. Show kindness to people around you. You can never be too kind to someone. In fact, most of us don’t show enough kindness to people around us. Being kind helps us to cultivate other qualities such as compassion, patience, and love. As you get back to your day after reading this article later on, start exuding more kindness to the people around you, and see how they react. Not only that, notice how you feel as you behave kindly to others. Chances are, you will feel even better than yourself.
39. Reach out to the people who hate you. If you ever stand for something, you are going to get haters. It’s easy to hate the people who hate us. It’s much more challenging to love them back. Being able to forgive, let go and show love to these people requires magnanimity and an open heart. Is there anyone who dislikes or hates you in your life? If so, reach out to them. Show them love. Seek a resolution and get closure on past grievances. Even if they refuses to reciprocate, love them all the same. It’s much more liberating than to hate them back.
40. Take a break. Have you been working too hard? Self-improvement is also about recognizing our need to take a break to walk the longer mile ahead. You can’t be driving a car if it has no petrol. Take some time off for yourself every week. Relax, rejuvenate and charge yourself up for what’s up ahead.
41. Read at least 1 personal development article a day. Some of my readers make it a point to read at least one personal development article every day, which I think is a great habit. There are many terrific personal development blogs out there, some of which you can check here.
42. Commit to your personal growth. I can be writing list articles with 10 ways, 25 ways, 42 ways or even 1,000 ways to improve yourself, but if you’ve no intention to commit to your personal growth, it doesn’t matter what I write. Nothing is going to get through. We are responsible for our personal growth – not anyone else. Not your mom, your dad, your friend, me or LifeHack. Make the decision to commit to your personal growth and embrace yourself to a life-long journey of growth and change. Kick off your growth by picking a few of the steps above and working on them. The results may not be immediate, but I promise you that as long as you keep to it, you’ll start seeing positive changes in yourself and your life.

2. Nobody is judging you. They’re too busy worrying about what you think of them. So instead of seeking her approval, give her yours. Then take it away. Then give it to her again. This is called flirting.

3. Women like nice guys. They just don’t like weak guys. So you can still be nice, but you must also be confident and strong-minded. In order for a woman to be with you, she needs to feel safe with you.

4. It’s not enough to just be yourself. You must be your best self.

5. There’s a thin, but important line between being horny and being sexual. A horny man hits on a woman before she’s attracted to him. A sexual man waits until he’s attracted her.

6. Just because you’re interacting doesn’t mean you’re attracting. Learn to recognize the difference between politeness and interest.

7. To win the heart of a woman, you have to be willing to risk losing her.

8. When a girl you went on a date with in the past or who suddenly disappeared on you calls you out of the blue, it generally means one thing – so call back right away before she finds someone else to be with that night.

9. Always call a woman the day after sleeping with her and make her feel good about having let go with you. Even if you don’t want to see her again or she doesn’t want to see you again. Don’t ruin her for other guys.

10. Finally, to quote the wisdom of Canadian hockey player Wayne Gretzky, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” So simply by approaching and saying something, no matter how badly you may bumble, you’ve dramatically increased your odds of being with her.

These words are not an exercise in some morbid or depressing behavior (which I can admit to displaying at times) but more of a cautionary tale. I am sure you have already heard millions of times from motivational speakers (those who get paid for it and school counselors alike) that it is important that you live everyday like it is your last because one of these days it will be. And while we all can attest to the infallibility of that statement, we can also attest to the unlikelihood of us following such sound advice. Consequently, writing such a composition would be an exercise in futility and a complete waste of time to I (the writer) and to you (the reader). The purpose of this composition is to simply make a request, a request that will become more evident as you continue to read. Unlike my brief allegory in the beginning however… no gun will be placed to your head.

As of now (Monday, May 31, 2004) the average American will watch over ten hours of “reality” television a week. Although my math is slightly fuzzy (I never enjoyed the subject) I happen to have a handy calculator nearby which tells me then that ten (the hours of “reality” television watched) multiplied by fifty-two (the number of weeks in a year) translates into over five hundred and twenty hours (a year) of the average American life is spent watching someone else live. That means that out of the fifty-two weeks that exist in a calendar year, the average American actually spends only forty-nine of those weeks living his own life, and spends the other three weeks eagerly watching someone else live theirs. In many ways, such a fact startled me, but after giving it some thought I am amazed that it is only ten hours a week. If such a figure does astonish you however, I encourage you to take a closer look into the lives of our peers and even the lives of those many years our senior. Watch as they spend their days clutching to their torturous mediocrity and wallow in their obviously uncomfortable comfort.

Why would they allow themselves accept such a fate? I am not bashing those whose lifelong dream is the white picket fence, with the token wife (who gives excellent blow jobs and is a damn good cook) and 3.2 kids. If that is what you want out of life, I encourage you to do everything in your power to achieve that ideal. What saddens me however is that I have had the displeasure far too often to meet people who wanted everything but the aforementioned yet find themselves in such a predicament. Their unconscious is screaming so loudly, that only animals with extrasensory perception can hear them. These are people who dreamt long and hard about various quests and adventures that would span the globe, only to settle for a cookie cutter house in the suburbs, a promiscuous daughter who is on her second abortion, and a wife who nags all of the time (and gives the laziest *******s). Yet, every morning they wake up with a painted smile on their face; turn up the music for their two hour commute to work with the hopes that the morning show can drown out the expletives resounding in their cerebrums.

Are you not entertained? Is this not the American dream that our forefathers bled, and died for us to have? A life filled what society tells us will make us happy, what our society denotes as successful, and what society tells you will make you the envy of all of your friends (and they wonder why wealthy people blow their brains out)? To those who this does not appeal to, the American dream is becoming the American nightmare. There are those of you who may read this and convince yourself that there must be more to your existence than this… that you cannot be living only to have your life to resemble a cubicle: the same as everyone else around, and rather compact. To those who you who do not find pleasure in the American dream, you may be experience a bit of dissonance: you have been force fed the American dream your entire life, yet for some reason or another you have rejected it. You remind yourself that it must be the right path or else you would have never been placed on it to begin with… yet your mind rejects it.

What will you do now? Your education, many of your peers, your society on the whole has prepared you for this. What will your parents think of you if you did not pull up to their house in your oversized sports utility vehicle in ten years? Will they consider you a failure if you opt for an ivory colored picket fence, instead of a white one? In spite of all of this, your mind continues to reject the mediocrity of the American dream. If something is so easily attained (there are over 10,000 homes in my neighborhood alone) that “dream” that is American is appearing more like a reality. Yet, we make it seem like owning some glorified hearse (for all of those kids that you do not have) and driving an hour and a half to reach your suburban paradise is the most arduous task that we could ever achieved. How ironic is it then that the very people for whom this composition was intended have the painful pleasure of being fruits of the American dream achieved. Just how ironic is it, that my peers who live in those suburban paradises (myself included) and drive those insane large automobiles (like myself) may be the ones who have the largest disdain for it?

Many of us, meaning the generation that exist as a result of our parents, are currently on destinations without journeys. That is to say, that we are completely aware as to where we may want to go but have no earthly idea as to how we will get there. Unlike the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, our objectives are invisible and out of our current reach. Much like a belief in a deity or the thing called love, we cannot deny their physical intangibility yet we strongly believe in them anyway. Our fate then, is only governed by something perhaps even more intangible and uncontrollable than the aforementioned… our faith. On the road of practicality and convention, the road is pristine and filled with light and clear paths, for many people have taken the journey before you. The road of uncertainty is denied such luxuries. Few people venture unto this road and because of this the lights are beginning to fade away, the neglected road has become jagged and tumultuous… the fog is dense and deeply affects your visibility.

Those who are brave enough to undertake the challenges that are presented on the journey of uncertainty often face the daunting task of going about it alone… because everyone else around them are on the road of practicality where it is safe and certain. It is this journey that I hope to make slightly easier with this composition. Many of you whose eyes will beset this composition have already begun the journey through the sand and the fog or intend to do so in the future. I am not here to make it easier because that is impossible, nor am I here to tell you that it will be worth it… because it very well may not be. What I am doing is offering my hand in assistance… that we may travel this road together. That you may gaze upon this road, seeing all of the dangers and adventures that lie ahead, yet find solace that there is someone next you. That myself and others may be the proverbial footprints in the sand… not to carry you should you fall, but to remind you that we walk next to you in spirit. To many of you who may read this composition, our eyes may never meet and our voices never heard… the only thing I can offer to you then is my spirit intertwined within these words.

Essentially what I present to you my peers, my enemies, my friends and loved ones is a challenge. A challenge that requires you challenge not only our society and all of its conventional wisdom… but yourself; to realize and achieve the full extension of your limits and to exhaust your human potential. I am challenging you to become giants among men and women, to create the Picasso’s, Einstein’s, Shakespeare’s and Rockefeller’s of the futures and that like them we will forever be remembered in for our place in history. For the past three years, I have had dreams and intentions of changing the very world that we all reside in. With every passing day, I work to bring this dream, no matter how impossible it may seem into fruition. I realized some time ago that this is not something I have the capacity to complete such a task by myself… it is finally that I find the proper words to ask for your help. Few people attempt to change the world, and an even a fewer number has actually succeed. Roughly ten people may read this composition intimately and over a thousand publicly… a mere thousand among 6.6 billion people that exist on this planet; out of that thousand, a number much lesser than that will actually accept this challenge.

Why continue to suppress the very things that make you human? Your ego, libido, and instincts are all there for a very good reason… yet, we expend a great deal of energy making sure that everything that our unconscious drives produce is shoved to the deepest regions of our brain. In order to change the world, the change must begin in ourselves. For reasons that dominate my intelligence, we seem to possess this idea change is the work of a dark force… that by changing such a thing as your countenance (for example) is a vain attempt to alter your genetic predisposition. The phrase, “You cannot change who you are…” is lethargic for, “There are various facets of my personality that I would love to change… but I am afraid it would take far too much effort.” Such thinking (or lack thereof in this case) makes it easier to understand why many of us choose the road most frequently traveled… after all, why should I learn how to fish when I could just obtain some from the supermarket? Why should I think for myself, when society will gladly think for me? Sadly, they may have a point.

In order to challenge convention then, you must have the intestinal fortitude to challenge yourself. What can you not do? What do you deem impossible? If familiarity really does breed contempt, I may begin to understand why so many human beings loathe themselves. They replace their passion with fear… replace faith with the assumption of failure. Many of us are so afraid of our own existences, it surprises me little how abysmally we fair when it comes to others. Courage is not that absence of fear, but merely the idea that something is greater than that fear. I have been afraid every single day that I have walked on this road of uncertainty and ironically… that is the very thing that has kept me on the pavement. Perhaps this instance is merely a result of some inherent masochism I possess, if that be the case… then disregard everything that I have written.

I get the feeling however, that it is not just me who has this inherent masochism. I think that deep down inside of us, all of us, is someone who lives for the peril and the seemingly insurmountable risks that lie ahead on this journey. This challenge is about self-discovery, about pushing yourself to a limit that you have yet to surpass. Conquering a fear that has held dominion over you for as long as you could remember and taking what you want out of life rather than life taking what it wants from you. Immortality has already been given to all of us… it is our choice as to whether or not we choose to receive this gift. Go ahead… open it.

Read the newspaper. And think that you’re politically articulated.
Watch the Discovery Channel. And think you’re clever.
Read the bible. And think you’re spiritualized.

Be Zen. Everyone’s Zen nowadays. They’ve all read the same email.
Maybe a Power Point file.
Make Power Point files. And distribute them to your friends.
Forward every piece of mindless crap you receive.

Brag. All the funny guys who get the ladies brag.

Listen to rap music. ‘ cos ur wuan of da bros
Listen to Queen. Because you’re sophisticated.
Watch every chick flick that comes out in the movies.
Dream about the Matrix and the Lord of The Rings.

Get a job. Make decent money. Buy a car.
Get a girlfriend. Go out with her on the weekends.
Try to fuck her as often as possible.

Never miss a game of your favorite team.
Help your young brothers with their homework.
Go to college; in hopes of getting a good job and getting rich working for a company… or investing in the stock market.

Have a pet. Name it with three-lettered names, like Ted, Tod, Rod, Dal.
Drink your ass off.
Smoke some cigarettes. Life’s too short to be wasted.

And when you see the crazy man asking for quarters in the corners, help him, to make your karma better.

Congratulations ! You’re now socially viable!

“It’s not about trends, fashions or condom mentalities (use it and throw it away).
It’s not about what you name your dog, its about how you treat it, how you love it, or how you don’t.
It’s not whether you show up at the gym 5 days a week, because I certainly know some that do (including myself) — its about what you do in the gym. You can stand around and socialize with your friends or you can be destroying your body. By that I mean, killing it and resurrecting it.

That lovely quote from the overrated movie Fight Club: ‘Self-Improvement is masturbation. Self destruction is the answer.’  That is, of course, another topic — as the intentions of ‘Tyler Durden’ (Pitt) were not to improve ‘Jack’ (Norton) but to ultimately make him indifferent to everything. Sorry Hollywood, wrong again.

Then I watched the movie “Waking Life” which was rather good. Mental masturbation to the extreme, if you will.  Nothing in that movie was really to pratical. It had some nice insight, and was visually pleasing — but I found myself intellectually unsatisfied. There were no conclusions, no plot, just meanderings.

We are the product of our environments, granted. I am not a human being, to paraphrase one of my favorite comedians, Bill Hicks: “You’re not a person until you’re in my phonebook.”  I am still the product of my parents, a reflection of my upbringing. I am still a growing plant, just as all of my peers are.  I am a branch on a tree, with a few leaves growing but nothing of any significance my own.

Disregard everyone else… They’re only going to stop you from acheiving your goals.
Being better than everyone else is a joke. No one’s better than the community, thats an ignorant western thought.
This post is really just an arrogant person looking down upon common perception.
Do whatever you want to… that is the only answer.
Do whatever pleases you, that is the only path.
Do what makes you happy…
And die.

We all want to die, anyway, so make sure you do it. Life is just a prerequisite to death.
Don’t fail. Pass the test.  Let it be.”

Technically, being The Man, is nothing but an ego-boost, an injection of pure confidence into one’s butt. So that his balls grow bigger and he starts to do the things he always wanted.  I’m not going to get into confidence here, because it’s been widely discussed…let me just say that confidence is the trait of trusting yourself, your guts and your abilities. It’s acting before thinking, knowing that things will turn out well.

I’m personally a person who respects a lot people who make mistakes. I respect the ones who get up, go there and do the things they want/need to.  Sometimes, when we’re too well versed in something, we have a tendency to become “sports commentators”, to spend time watching and judging other people’s game and forgetting our own.  Being The Man, does not give you time for that.  Being The Man, is being more ALPHA, that’s the secret behind it all.

An alpha does not sit around talking about other people’s lives. He MAKES the news.  We, my friends, we don’t have anymore time to waste waiting around, being passive.  You’re determined to die, in any moment, from a huge variety of causes!  A comet may fall over your head!! It sounds stupid but it can!  So, we don’t have the time to be passive, to wait for things to happen.  If we want results, we must get up, and do whatever sh!t it takes to get them.

Back when I was becoming a popular kid, I saw how girls are fucking passive and fucking mediocre.  HS girls in their majority (95%) are dumb, passive and stupid little girls with big breasts. When they sense the smell of a Man, they go crazy.  And the other 5% think that they’re too smart so they want older guys, which are more alpha than the ones of her age.  So, in theory, we’re very alpha… but, are you REALLY alpha?  I’ll make some questions, and then later you can tell me if you’re really alpha…

- When talking to girls, do you make them come over to talk to you? Even if it means the she has to leave her group of friends or whoever she’s talking to?
- When you want to talk to her in private, do you make it clear? Or do you wait for a better opportunity? Do you tell her to dismiss whoever she’s talking to to have a convo with you?
- Do you have the cojones to say out loud: Come over here, I want to talk to you in private, in front of a lot of people?
- What about the cojones to walk in the middle of her group and take her out, even if there’s only women there and other guys are looking at you? Do you fear looking needy to her friends?
- Do you get women to do things for you, to do favors for you? Or you are the one doing the things for her?
- Are you her emotional tampon?
- When she’s acting b!tchy, do you let her get away with it?
- When you don’t like one of her friends, do you tell her?
- Not related to women…when you want to ask a question or to get something done, do you do it yourself, or ask for someone else to ask for the teacher/classmate/friend to do it?
- Do you stand up and take responsibility for the things you do?
- Do you worry about what others think/thought/may think of you?
- Do you have the sensibility to know when “being passive” will get you closer to your desires, thus being the best thing to do?

Now you have enough material to think about it for like, 1 week.  Think about these things and evaluate your attitude!!

We, The Men, are the Alphas of society. We’re the Tyler Durdens, we’re the James Bonds, the Don Juans of every street.
We’re here to take what is ours: the pussy.  Mother Nature, the sweetest of all women, has given us a chance to live, and to live our dreams, achieve our goals and score many pussies. She wants us to be the best we can, and if possible better than that, or else she’ll find a very peculiar way to get us killed.

We’re alive to take everything that’s ours. We’re the rulers of this world, the species on the top of the food chain.  All of the world is ours, and yet some of us is so shy that gets nervous and shaky when asking for some ketchup at McDonald’s.

That is forbidden from this day on. I want everyone to go to class tomorrow, and do something they think it’s cool regardless of someone else’s opinion. I want everyone to walk near a HB, a 9 or a 9.5 , and scream: “Come over here, I want to talk to you in private”, in front of all her friends.  Yeah, and if someone starts laughing or if she does not come, just turn your back and walk away.  You’re the alpha male, you had the cojones to go there and try to kill your prey… if it gets away, then it’s time to go to the next one…no fear, no regret.  The other betas are laughing, but you’re the one who got closer to the meal…you’re the one who had balls to go out and hunt, while they wait for the rest.  You’re not the one who knows all the news, you’re the one who makes the news and you’re the one who doesn’t give a damn about them!

Many times in my HS life, I failed for not being more alpha…for putting popularity first…and that is a sad mistake to be made.  I see the men who get the best girls out there, they’re the ones who are going for the approach while the other “cool guys” are drooling over her ass.

Let’s not be cool.  Fuck being cool!  They only one who can tell if you’re cool or not is yourself !!  Let’s evolve… like Tyler Durden would say…but let’s evolve into better human beings, not depressed, self-destructive persons. I don’t to start a Fight Club.  I want to see everyone riding in Ferraris with 3 HBs in our future DJ meeting in Monaco.

The Men, are the ones who dictate the rules of society, and they’re the ones who care less about society itself.  Live for yourself, and have the sensibility to know when and why and how you’re supposed to “fit” into society so that you can achieve your goals.  Take what you want… if it’s a girl, take her. If she refuses, then leave her alone and go to the next. She’ll think about you, and probably going to regret it.

Don’t take shit from anyone, and don’t be afraid of doing what you want.  And always make sure that you’re prepared for anything that comes along…know how the game works, so you can bend the rules to your profit… and fuck everything else.  Be nice to people, but remember that being nice does not include being a doormat.

And finally, this is a conclusion you have to come by yourself… don’t force yourself into The Men… become The Men.
Remember, Mother Nature loves you. She wants you to survive, and for that you’ve got to work hard. But if you do work hard, she’ll reward you with the sweetest pleasures and gifts ever.  Are you willing to go for this treasure? Are you willing to be Indiana Jones?  Think about it.  Critique me…I know this is going to be too hard for a lot of people…but it’s like The Matrix… once you’ve seen it, it all falls into place.

” Should I blink and breath when I ask her number or just one of the two?  Which one, please?? “

Oh, come on people!! We can do better than that right?  It’s looking like we’re on a fucking Leisure Suit Larry game damn it!  It’s time to grow some balls and make some heavy shit…

I was talking to my best Bud from high school about going back to the past and doing it all again.  If I could, I would do 10 times more sh!t than I’ve done.  We’re so afraid of doing shit, yet after things are through, the shit you’ve done almost doesn’t count… you look back and laugh.  If I didn’t get the LJBF, if I didn’t get scared and chickened out trying to approach girls, I wouldn’t have grown confident and learned the timing and the at-the-moment routines of social life.

Lately, I’ve been doing diplomacy works amongst my male and female friends, and even in my family… and I could only do it because in the past I was the one to have the balls and be the diplomat between two colliding groups in the class (between the class and the teachers, and all that stuff)…

The only way to learn is by doing some real shit! Being made fun at, getting all shy and red, and being ridiculed, ignored, despised, and hated.

Don’t do this because “women like confident men who approach“.  No, they don’t ! You know what this bullshit means? Women would like the men that they want to approach them! Do it for yourself damn it ! When I was a kid I was so shy I couldn’t ask for a ketchup bag at McDonald’s.  Nowadays I play with the counter girls.

And don’t do that shit of “only the pretty girls”.  Shit, the funniest girls are the weird ones, the chubby ones and the smartest ones are the goofy and nerdy ones.  They know that they aren’t “cool”, so even though they have esteem problems, they learn to like themselves a lot and view life from a different optic, (a funnier one, to lighten up the weight of the chains of being “different”(.

So, stop being a pussy, like I am myself sometimes (I don’t like to cold-approach chicks at school), and start to make some mistakes.  Life in the spotlight, isn’t made only of laughter, applause, declarations of love and girls showing their boobs for you.  It’s also made of despise, being ignored, being booed, having people throwing tomatoes at you.  Every night is a different story… and that my friend, that…

That’s what the Blues is about.

Shit, I’ve been acting like a pussy lately….for the last months…enough with that.  That fucking conditioning traps us in our comfort zones and we think that when opportunities “appear”, we’ll do “well” because after all we’re “DJs” , aren’t we??  Fucking bullshit!!

A DJ is 24/7/365 being tested by the world to see if he’s still up and running.  Don’t FAIL !  For you, because YOU are the one who must be pleased.

Shit, I woke up in this crazy mood today and felt like a man again.  Ran like crazy for a job interview, finally cold-approached the hottie and made some new acquaintances.  Don’t sit on your fucking ass waiting for things to happen… make the opportunities, make the moment.  Wanna talk to girl X, Y , Z ? Use your imagination like a starving wolf to make and take advantage of the right time/opportunities.

Be willing to be embarrassed… fuck if you don’t embarrass yourself you’re never going to get one step closer to your goals.  Don’t give a shit about other guys either…everyone’s a lotta talk and a nada of action, bragging about their past achievements and living off of memories like museums.

Don’t settle for less either…that brings you inconsistency so you fuck yourself up and go 50% on a chick that isn’t that open to you.  Also, learn to approach women and make new friends sober… many times when I was under criticism for not chasing skirt in my idle days I would smile, for when I’ve met 1 woman sober I’m a better man than the ones that can only do it drunk…

There’s no time to waste man… get up right now and do it… play tic tac toe with bus chicks, make new friends at lines and go wild on approaching babes at the clubs… go for the best and your results will be optimized… there’s a common line of thought among loser people that they should go for “easier” chicks, not so pretty, not so hot, not so the ones they really want…

Bring home a girl that makes your old man proud of ya! And your old lady jealous for that sake.  You can’t change the world but you can change yourself, and changing yourself you’ll see the world with other eyes…don’t waste your time anymore.   I wasted precious months of mine… you can look back in my last messages and realize that.

Thank you for your attention.   Now get out and DO IT !

Guess we all had a childhood in here, and we all heard the fable of the rabbit and the turtle.  The rabbit, not the rabbit from the Alice in Wonderland, but the rabbit that runs a lot and races with the turtle.

It’s even embarrassing comparing the rabbit with the turtle. The turtle is slow, easy, chilled down, and knows its limitations.  The rabbit is smart, fast, built, and “speedy”.  The rabbit is a natural. He was born to run.

Now pause the speech for a while. No, I’m not going to use this metaphor to motivate anyone to have the skills of the rabbit, or the persistence of the turtle. No, altough a cool story and a motivational post that would be, I’m not going for that.  I’m talking here as a friend. A friend you’ll never see. But a friend who cares about you. A real friend is the one who tells you the truth. The one who cares about you, your life, your health, your future.

There’s a trend in my life lately of knowing a lot of rabbits. 95% of the people I met this year, and look, I met over a hundred persons this year, are rabbits or wannabe rabbits.  Rabbits don’t give a shit about others. Their sole purpose is getting money, getting lady, having pleasure and getting the things they want done no matter the price or what could happen to the others.  Rabbits don’t worry about karma.  Fuck, rabbits don’t give a shit about spirituality. They go to church to get women, to smoke a joint at night, or to marriage parties where can get drunk for free.

Rabbits care a lot about their presence. They have a vanity and a concern about other people’s opinions, and doing what’s cool at the time, forgetting about their individuality and their honesty that is amazing. LaVey smiles from his grave.  Rabbits like to get drunk, and like to use drugs a lot too. Rabbits start smoking really early, and have a general disregard for people who don’t share their addictions. You’re automatically boring and a loser if you don’t smoke , sniff and get fuck drunk.  Oh wait, at least the turtles serve to drive them home and borrow them money.

Rabbits don’t think long term. They spend all their money, all their energy and all their health on short lasting things, just to “enjoy the moment”. ” You gotta enjoy your life man!” They take Carpe Diem and make it sound like some mother fucking junkie motto.  And they think they can win the race. They’re much better than turtles. “Poor losers. They don’t have fun. They don’t get laid. They don’t feel pleasure. They don’t lead a fucking cool life.”

Then there are the turtles. Oh the turtles! Slowly, but firmly, constantly going for their dreams. Sometimes they get too tired, so they stop and they sleep. Sometimes they fall. They don’t have the strength, or the skills, or the agility to accomplish a lot of things as the rabbits do.   But they know their limits. They know that if they follow their limits, and accept themselves as they are, they’ll eventually reach their goals. For turtles, unlike rabbits, goals aren’t matters of luck and probability. No, for turtles, goals are just a matter of time.

Turtles are humble, simple, “ugly”, and they talk low and slowly… they walk by the sidewalks of the roads that they choose to travel. They don’t lead… most of the times they follow, or do their own things.  Yet, turtles are happy…incredibly happy. They live inside a hard shell with only themselves for years and years, and they’re always comfortable in their hard skin. No winds or even hurricanes can break their hard shell and take the happiness and contentment away from themselves with ease.

When a person arrives at this place, or at various moments of their lives, they have to choose between being a rabbit or a turtle.  Being a rabbit sounds cool doesn’t it? Most people see others getting laid and “having fun”, and think that being rabbits are the way. Is that true happiness?  Being an addict?  When there are no women, no alcohol, no marijuana, no coke, no pills, they can’t fun… they can’t even stay still. They have to complain about every fucking thing, even when things come for them for free… their hearts beat in bursts of joy and discontentment.

Turtles, turtles don’t have all that. They don’t have bursts. They have a small, but steady flame that is always burning inside their heart, no matter the storm that may come.  Turtles don’t throw thrash on the street. Turtles apologise. Turtles do favors to others, and are polites. Turtles know please and thank you.  Rabbits always wanna win. Get things for free. Have others caressing their egos.

I met a lot of rabbits this year. “Naturals”, who got laid more in a year than most of the people I know has ever gotten in their entire lives. Yet, they were always drunk. They were always doped. They always fucked their bodies and gave a shit for anyone that wasn’t them.  Guys that started to go clubbing when they were 12, banged their first chick at 13, started to smoke when they where 14 and can’t leave mary jane since they’re 15. Guys that spend all the money their mothers work hard to get in drugs and beer.

Is that cool? Is that being a winner? Is that being a DJ?  If it is, excuse me ladies and gentlemen, but I’d rather be a loser. Call me an AFC. I’d much rather be a turtle.  Yeah. I’d rather be that nice guy that never gets laid. I’d rather spend the weekend playing poker with my parents and jacking off to porn.

In my reality, in my environment, this is how things are working. There are few “Natural DJs”. There are few men “trying to improve themselves.”  A good job, money, roids, dope, only in order to seek everlasting pleasure, more women and more status. And fuck the poor. Fuck the miserable bastard sleeping under the bridge. Let’s just throw a bottle of vodka at them. Let’s kick the butts of every homeless beggar just to prove ourselves that we’re strong. We’re men.

Gone are the times of the natural DJs. If there ever was such a time. Gone are the times when people cared about the others. I try to stay positive, I try to do my part and my best to bring people to the brighter side of life.  My happiness isn’t based on them, I can live without them, and I’m very good. But I feel bad not doing anything. I feel like it is my duty to make these people abandon their selfish and self-destructive behaviors and lead a human life. But I fail. And I’m despised. “He’s just a loser kid. Leave alone. No one can have fun with him around.”

I’ll be a turtle then. I’ll be a boring fart. A loser, an AFC.  I’m not giving up my health for dangerous and short lasting pleasures. I’m not giving up my ideals for trends. I’m not giving up my dreams for nightmares.  I’m not giving up on MERIT. Cause MERIT, MERIT is what makes us men! MERIT is what built the world we sit upon.  I don’t need crutches to walk. I walk slowly but my hands are free.

I don’t need no solace, I don’t need no chemicals to make me happy. I’m am the master of my own fate.  I don’t need a fucking cigarette to calm me nor a shot of vodka to approach women. I don’t need no drug to bring me inspiration or piece of mind. MY FUCKING CONSCIENCE IS NOT FOR SALE!  My head is mine, my dreams aren’t for trade. And I’m not going to give up everything I fought so hard to achieve, and won’t exchange the dreams I have everyday for cheap pleasures.

I’M NOT GIVING UP ON MERIT! NEVER! AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU!

No, no my friend. Sorry if it pisses you off, but, I’m not grabbing crutches. I’m not conforming. I’m not following the form. And if you think that that’s what I got to do to be a DJ, then sorry. Ban me.